Rockvale Middle Debutante Club Empowers Young Girls, Creates Lasting Friendships

Though not quite overgrown pumpkins and glass slippers, Rockvale Middle Debutante Club’s Cotillion Ball was a night of magic for students who attended.

“The debutante club is a club for young ladies to promote academic excellence, building relationships, and maintaining positive relationships among the other girls in the school,” said Jasmine Bethea, club sponsor and eighth-grade ELA teacher at Rockvale Middle. “It helps them earn community service hours as well and teaches them how to be well-rounded.”

Samiyah Stackens is a member of the club who attended the Cotillion. According to Stackens and Bethea, a lot of preparation went into the event, with students rehearsing dances and learning conversational etiquette. But it was worth it.

“The day of it was stressful. It was a lot of fun though,” Stackens said. “I keep going back and looking at all the pictures. My family all went. It made me really grateful because they’ve put in a lot of work to get me to where I am. My grandmother came and my great-grandmother came. They kept saying how proud they were of me.”

Cotillions are rooted in southern tradition, but they occur across the United States — even the world. Traditionally they are a way to practice etiquette for students ages 11 through 13, and they are often a precursor to a debutante ball, which is a coming of age and introduction to society.

Debutante clubs, at least in Rutherford County, are not a common organization.

“I actually started this club last year at LaVergne Middle,” said Bethea. “When I was transferred, I spoke with (the administration) about starting a club and then it just took off from there. The only two clubs I know about are LaVergne and here, and the one in LaVergne only because a colleague and I were talking about wanting to help girls who might be misguided. That’s how we formed.”

Building positive relationships can be challenging these days. With students constantly battling online social lives with real-world interactions, one of the benefits of the debutante club is unplugging to build proper connections with classmates.

“I had a really good time this year, so I think I want to do it again,” said Tianna Knighton-Shaw, seventh grader at Rockvale Middle. “I’ve never been in a debutante club before, and the experience was amazing. The thing I’ll remember most about this year is building so many new friendships and just having fun.”

For Bethea, Cotillions run in the family.

“My grandmother back in Illinois, she helped host the Debutante Cotillion every year in my hometown, but it was for high school girls. So, the girls would raise money and go to different businesses to get sponsorships which would help them raise money for college,” said Bethea.

The trickle down from Bethea’s grandmother, of care and a vision to improve the lives of girls, is the driving force behind the debutante club. Though some may initially visualize such a club as antiquated or out of date, students are gaining meaningful skills and getting prepared for high school and beyond.

“The No. 1 thing I saw in girls was a lack of self-esteem,” Bethea said. “I know in middle school it’s hard for girls to understand who they are and who they’re growing into. I thought having women around them on a daily that could provide and guide them is what they needed.”

“As a school counselor, I mean this was just right up my alley in regard to empowering students and helping the girls,” said Jacquelyn Patterson, counselor at Rockvale Middle. “Helping them see the value and worth in themselves and knowing that there’s nothing they can’t set their eyes on or their sights to achieve. This program encompasses all of that from leadership to empowerment and academic excellence.”

Students of the club are ready to tell you — preparing for the Cotillion may have been stressful, but the impact of being part of the debutante club is worth the effort.

“It helped me grow a lot as a person,” said Tatiana Goode, eighth-grade student at Rockvale Middle. “I became more confident in myself. The club has really prepared me for high school by making me put myself out there and make friends, talking to people and preparing for the real world and real life.”

To join the club, students complete an application and write an essay. They are also required to have teacher references and outside references when applying.

Students from across the school are applying, and it’s not just athletes are students who don’t belong to other organizations already.

“We have such a wide variety of girls who have joined, who are interested in many different career paths,” said Bethea. “A lot of the girls, probably their grandparents did something like this, but we have different athletes, different ethnicities. It’s a mixture of everybody across the school.”

The main goal, according to Bethea and Patterson, is to give girls the opportunity to develop themselves in an environment that is supportive and caring, to foster relationships, and to do community service.

“The ideas and the goals they’re pouring into these young ladies is essential,” said Dr. Kelly Newberry, principal of Rockvale Middle School. “I’ve seen so many positive aspects come out of it, and they’ve even branched off, creating this group for young men. So, I think it’s done nothing but offer positive things for our students.”